They Wont Go When I Go

I painted Requiem and When I’m Dead My Dearest simultaneously, bouncing back and forth between the panels. I started the paintings before really knowing what would come from them. Having used poetry in a class assignment the previous semester, I found that implementing it in my work was an effective way to arrange my thoughts.

I did these works in the late fall following Steve’s death in the summer. In Brevard, a comfortable and personal environment, I was able to begin to process my thoughts. This developed as a large, bright, and violent work.

In When I’m Dead My Dearest, I painted the yellow background with the Christina Rossetti poem of the same name. The subject of the poem is addressing a loved one. They urge this person not to focus on grieving too much. They acknowledge that no one knows what happens to us after death but instruct the loved one to be a positive influence in the world. Death is represented in this painting by the strip of canvas covering the eyes of the face. The ivy wrapped around the neck of the figure exhibits a violent narrative; the viewer should question if the ivy is being pulled from the neck- or tightened. Often ambiguous, mental health struggles raise questions for an outside viewer.

When Im dead My Dearest

$625.00

The poem “Requiem” by Robert Stevenson, painted in the background, concludes with a eulogy to a loved one. This role of the eulogizer inspired me to present this figure as the griever. The figure is painted, ripping open a cavity in his chest as a sunflower burst forth. This expression demonstrates the pain I was going through in my early stages of grief. It also acknowledges the beautiful parts of growing through hardship- I was being pushed into this reality and needed to embrace it. While painful, the silver lining is developing a deeper understanding of the human condition and a greater capacity for empathy.

Requiem

$625.00